Deafness--with Family and Friends

My eyes are my ears. With my eyes, I "hear" the world. The other nite, I visited old friends--those I grew up with--when i could hear. Before my hearing was totally lost. Back in the time, when hearingaids were useful. Then, my hearing gradually declined, and I drifted apart, allowing my hearingloss to come between me, my family and my friends. Even tho I made new ones that I culd talk to more, I missed my friendships of young.

This past month, I got to renew these friendships. Staying int ouch is a great thing. I stopped for a quick visit with my grandma--who I struggle so hard to understand--I don't get to visit with her when my family gets together--they're all busy talking, and I cannot hear.

So last Friday, I visited for 45 mins. Alot of it was "lost", hard to follow, but still enjoyable--even though awkward. This is what I mean by drifting apart and allowing it to come between us. Then....I made a stop---to my childhood best friends house--I was nervous. I knew I wouldn't be rejected---but its soo hard to have a conversation continuously when no sign language is present.But I love her, and I missed her, and I wanted to make an effort to stay in touch, for my family and my childhood best freinds mean the world to me. So I stopped by. Somehow, we managed. 30 mins, a few repeats, but all went well :) Then...in the next town over, I stopped by her sisters, my other equally best childhood friend. Her sister---culd fingerspell and knew a few words in sign---so we visited for 2 hours!

I've learned cherish what we have. Hearingloss shldn't get in the way of family and friends. I've missed alot of time with my family, because I'm really shy, and I don't speak up, because of my hearingloss. I am trying to learn to live without regrets. Missed opportunities--we learn from them.

I don't regret being deaf. I recently learned my mom didn't want me to get the cochlear implant. She was told I would lose what I already had. So she made a wise decision. I am greatful. I love being deaf--I have no complaints. It doesn't matter that I miss out on wonderful sounds---like my childs voice--I miss it--I didn't get to hear his voice become deeper as he changes into a teenager.....like family conversations---but thats life, and we learn to deal with it, and we become positive about other things.
Thats my outlook on life, and I'm sticking to it. Make the best of what you have. The glass is half full-not half empty! :)